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Wesker
Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Posts: 333
Location: Somewhere
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 Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:10 pm Post subject: Chuck Ruins Harry Potter |
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So the other night at work, a bunch o my subordinates were goin on about how they were gonna go see the new Harry Potter movie. Me being tired and pissed off as usual I went into a long ass "Chuck Tirade Rant"
It went along the lines of something like this:
Oh what the fuck! Why the fuck are you all so excited for the new Wizard Pussy Boy movie anyways? Here I'm gonna tell you what the whole fucking movie will be and I've never read any of the books! So Harry Mc Dumbfuck returns to his Wizard school and some old dude is all like HARRY YOU MUST SAAAAVE THE DAY IN EPIC FORESHADOWING MODE!!!!
But then Harry gets all Butt Hurt because the girl he likes doesnt like him back so he's all like FUCK YOU!!! IMma GONNA BE EVIL NOW BITCHES AND CAST SOME SHIT ON YA!!!!
BUt then his gay little friend finds some guy in a cave that's part Ewok part Hobbit and he's all like : Harry YOU have to look INSIDE yourself!!!
And then fucking harry gets his little dick licker confidence back and somehow manages to save the day with a stick.
But then the evil lord whats his name gets away setting Up YET ANOTHER FUCKING SEQUEL! Wash Rinse Repeat.
finally someone said to me "but Chuck what about Dumbledore?"
To which I said "What the Fuck is a Dumbledore?!"
then I clocked out and left.
The best part was one of the people that heard my rant said my version was fairly accurate to what the movie was.
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TSA
Joined: 04 Jun 2009
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Location: California
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| Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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Good story Chuck.
Harry Potter was good. I saw some good Cosplay while waiting in line for it. Half the movie was about how women play games with mens hearts. So the red headed guy ditches the prude witch for this slut. He almost dies of herpes before Harry Potter saves him. Then Harry gets this red headed slut (I approve whole-heartedly of this girl) and gets cock blocked about ten times, until finally she brings him to a motel room in the castle where she gives him blue balls. The rest of the movie Harry goes around with an ackward erection
Meanwhile, this dude who is the equivalent of Cloud from FF VII is acting all emo cuz he has to kill Dumbledore. In the end he pussies out. So this total "savior of the goths and emos" known as Snape comes and pwns Dumbledore off a balcony. He falls to his death. It was funny cuz it was just like the scene from Die Hard when McClain throws...holy shit...IT WAS SNAPE...off the roof of that building. I guess Snape was pissed he died in that movie, so he got his revenge.
Overall, there were no naked women, but lots of slutty underage girls. A few people died. There was quite a bit of homosexuality, so that hurt the experience just a bit. Movie gets major props for trolling fangirls who think Harry and that smarth witch chic should end together. That was the best part. Fangirls cried in the theater. Any film that makes Harry Potter girls cry is awesome. I anxiously await the sequel, where everybody finally dies. Even the owls. |
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Wesker
Joined: 11 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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| TSA wrote: | | ....the sequel, where everybody finally dies. Even the owls. |
God took long enough
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TSA
Joined: 04 Jun 2009
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Location: California
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| Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:36 pm Post subject: |
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The films needed to be more like that. |
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Smee80
Joined: 13 Mar 2007
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Location: Rowland Heights, CA
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| Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 10:23 am Post subject: |
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| TSA wrote: |
The films needed to be more like that. |
Well, she got her O face on very immodestly there in front of a crowd no doubt. Meanwhile potter is wearing his shit eating grin and is completely oblivious to graingers hypersexual come ons eh?
Ok so TSA, you've seen the movie so be honest with me......the ending reminded you of The Empire Strikes Back right?
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HUNK
Joined: 02 Dec 2006
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Location: San Diego
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| Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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Harry Potter sucks.
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Wesker
Joined: 11 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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Word.
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Vernedead
Joined: 04 Apr 2007
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Location: San Onefre Nuclear Reactor
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| Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:53 pm Post subject: |
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| HUNK wrote: | | Harry Potter sucks. |
You think thats bad, look at the fandom... Still better that Naru/Bleachtards though.
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TSA
Joined: 04 Jun 2009
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Location: California
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| Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Smee80 wrote: | | Ok so TSA, you've seen the movie so be honest with me......the ending reminded you of The Empire Strikes Back right? |
Yea, I can see how they have similarities. |
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XenoZero
Joined: 17 Feb 2008
Posts: 119
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| Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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I really liked the books my self, really got into them after fighting them for so long I final read the first and just came back for the rest. And I would say any fandom is better then the vast majority of the Twilight fandom. Nothing against the girls who like it here, but some of the fans for Twilight are fucking psychotic.
Edit: Oh and most the cast of Harry potter is legal now. guy that plays Harry is like 20 or 21. |
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DorianHolmes
Joined: 11 Dec 2008
Posts: 176
Location: San Diego, California
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| Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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| XenoZero wrote: | but some of the fans for Twilight are fucking psychotic.
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That is an understatment. At comic con THEY MOBBED A SUV to get to the actors in the middle of a busy road.
I'll post photos later.
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XenoZero
Joined: 17 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:07 am Post subject: |
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| Oh I HAVE to see that photo. |
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